Saturday, December 22, 2007

How to get your bitch on (on the UES)

I had the following exchange a few days ago in a bank on the Upper East Side. I was looking through my wallet for a check I wanted to deposit, intending to shortly use the pen attached to the counter to fill out the deposit slip and endorse the check.

While I was getting my stuff together, a nicely-dressed woman in her fifties came up and took the place next to me at the counter. She was with a friend, and the friend was telling her how to get somewhere. The woman took the pen I was about to use and wrote down the directions. Then, when she was done, she and her friend continued chatting. The woman still had the pen in her hand, but was no longer using it.

I gestured at the pen, and she handed it to me, probably automatically. She didn't look at me or stop talking.

I filled out my deposit slip and was endorsing the check when I realized that the woman's friend had left and the woman was looking through her bag, muttering to herself. "Blah blah blah my pen," she said.

"Oh," I said, "Here. I'm almost done." I finished signing the check and handed her the pen attached to the counter.

"I'm just wondering how I lost it," she said somewhat sharply, taking the pen. I realized she was talking about the pen attached to the counter, not some other pen of her own possession.

"I thought you were done with it," I said.

"Well, I wasn't." she said.

"I do apologize for the inconvenience," I said.

"It's fine," she said.

"Have a good day," I said.

"You as well," she said.

I took my deposit envelope and found an ATM.

I sure showed HER, I thought.

I'm sure she was thinking the same thing.


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